The Metaphorical Meaning

Many times I have wanted to post a blog about facebook, but it always turns out to sound mean and condescending. I don’t mean to be that way. I just find humor in some posts that the writer was meaning to be completely serious. I’m sure my posts have been laughed and scoffed at in turn. As have everyone’s, because no one really cares about the fact that while I was mowing the lawn yesterday I stepped in dog poop at least twice. But what does it matter? When the music stops, the rest is silence. I am not intentionally referencing a ‘90s era movie(insert sarc mark here). But really, what is it going to matter if you post what happened to you on facebook, or how you felt about it. I could post that I felt violated by stepping in that dog poop, but the dog should feel much more violated about it. He had to make that poop out in the open for any spying eye to see. But then you see: the dog, the shoe, and the whole stinky, steaming pile of facebook doesn’t really matter, because when the typing stops, the post is blank.

A little comedy and a little irony

Did I walk into a tv show? This week I was wondering if I walked into a completely different world. Another dimension that looks like reality but it’s not. The sutle clues lie all around me.

Clue #1
Yesterday I decided to take a short stroll outside and get some fresh air. I didn’t realize how fresh the air would be compared to what I had been breathing for the past week. During the last week there had been construction crews remodeling the basement of my dormitory. The basement stairway had been blocked off with a board for the entire remodeling, but today there was a sign. “Danger. Asbestos. Cancer and lung disease hazard. Authorized personnel only. Respirators and protective clothing are required in this area.” I started wondering, shouldn’t I have been informed that I could potentially die from the air that has been coming from the basement the past week? The dust from the remodeling was seeping its way up through the elevator that the construction workers were using. This is a known fact otherwise they wouldn’t have placed signs on the interior dormitory doors when the construction started. “Please keep the wing doors closed to minimize construction dust on the floors. Thankyou.” The “Thankyou” now seems like a, Thankyou for letting us use this as an excuse not to evacuate the building during the start of finals. We’re already just so stressed planning your leave in 2 weeks. By the way, these doors are the doors that we use every time we go to our rooms. It’s not like they were sealed or no one used the elevators or that there isn’t a couple windows that are open from the basement that go straight out to the patch of grass that everyone likes to sit at during the sunny days.

Clue #2
I had a call back today from a job I wanted at a Bachman’s location. In order to get an application to them, they requested that I fax it. Faxing is an outdated approach to email so the person getting the file doesn’t have to open their email and press the print button. I was informed that there was a fax machine at the Compass in the Student Union, this means I would have to pay for it. How much could a fax really cost? I found out after the sales clerk faxed my document. $6.41. All I have to say is that I better get this job.

Clue #3
The fridge “accidentally” got turned up. I woke up, put the cheerios in the bowl, and tried to pour a frozen block of milk on top. Such a lovely start to the day.

Clue #4
There was a Nordic band playing at the Moorhead library in the children’s section. And I went to the performance. And the only question I have after the show is, “Why do people wear suspenders if they are just going to leave them hanging under their butt?”

Clue #5
Yesterday I happened upon a very disturbing video about hamburgers that are literally eating people. While the animation was very well done, the product was…disturbing. I will post it here, but be advised. I will not put a parental warning because watching this video with your parents will not make it any less…disturbing. Discretion is advised for animated gore and frightening situations.

Hambuster from Hambuster Team on Vimeo.
Clue #6
Zack Efron is 24? What?

Clue #7
I’m pretty sure I ate a broken off prong from the plastic fork I got at Union City. No one can deny that MSUM is trying to kill me!

I don’t say these things for you to feel sorry for me. I know I don’t feel sorry for me. I want you to see the humor in my life. Chuckle. It’s ok. It’s funny that I tried to pour frozen milk on my cereal, a Nordic band was at the library, there’s a disturbing hamburger video, Zack Efron is 24, and I ate a plastic fork prong all while I was blowing more snot out of my nose than the red river is flooded. It’s funny that I’m going to die from asbestos poisoning…well maybe that parts not AS funny. That parts more just irony in a state college setting.

So in conclusion, this tv show I stepped into is probably a comedy with fatal endings for the main character in years to come. It might just be the cold medicine talking, but I don’t think the pilot for this show will make it.