H.G. Wells can’t stop this mustard stain

Mustard is a mess. It doesn’t matter what I put it on, it always ends up on me. I thought maybe I had gotten lucky when it just splattered all over my face when I opened the bottle, but I guess I got too excited when I finished making my sandwich and it squirted out of the sandwich onto my shirt. It’s kind of like in time machine movies. In most time machine movies someone dies and the main character goes back in time again to try and stop that person from dying. They always fail because of destiny/fate/whatever. Mustard is like death and I am the victim. No one can stop the mustard from staining my shirt. Although, some time machine movies they don’t even get into trying to stop the death of somebody. For example, the movie Time After Time where H.G. Wells has to go forward in time to catch Jack the Ripper who used Wells’ time machine to escape from the police by going to 1979.  At one point Wells takes his love interest in the time machine forward 3 days. They see in the paper that she will be Jack’s next victim, so like the idiots they are they go back those 3 days which makes no sense because if it says she’s dead then she wouldn’t be if they just stayed those 3 days ahead, but if they really wanted Jack not to kill all those women in 1979 then they should have gone back to the first day Jack got there to catch him. At least Jack got his in the end by being sent into infinity (whatever that means? Hopefully it means dead.) Other than the clear stupidity of the time travelers, it was a good movie. A man from the 1800s going to 1979 (funny), and me watching it from 2011 (funnier)…. from this view 1979 seems outlandish, but it was set in San Fransisco.